It's a Swiss Army brand USB drive. I'm going to be the most rugged kid in the computer lab. Not only that, but it has a retractable ball point pen. It's the greatest thing in the world! I can't wait to pretentiously lean over and tell the person next to me all about how cool this is and how awesome I am for owning it. I mean, I am awesome because my dad is a lawyer, but this just solidifies my coolness.
You guys remember that movie where the guy was out in the wilderness rock climbing and got his arm trapped by a rock, so he had to cut it off with a knife to survive? Well, I can't do that with this. But like, say I was attacked by a wild bear, who's all hairy and sweaty and looking at me like he wants to gobble me up...oh, I'm already wetting my pants just thinking of that big angry bear....anyway, I could like, whip this out and draw him a scary picture or show him a power point presentation on why bullying is wrong.
I also ordered a bunch of other pretentious shit I will never use. Look:
and:
Oh, I ordered these through a super secret members-only site that sells shitty products at really low prices.
If you're interested in joining, click here.
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